Sorry to break it to you, but having sex on vacation or on the side of the highway while roadtripping aren’t as epic as they might have felt when you were getting ready to orgasm. While adventurous sex might feel like any place outside of the bedroom these days, every guy needs a bucket list of insane places to have sex — with your girlfriend, wife or a one-night stand, depending on where you are in your life.
You might never look at getting it on the same after you read these awesome suggestions, ranked by least difficult to most:
While Watching A Movie… At the Theater
Pick the back row, at a random time (like a Tuesday at 3 p.m.) in a side of town you never go to. It might be grimy to climb on the theater floor, but you can be a little voicey since the sound will be so loud playing around you — and hopefully everyone else is at work.
On A F***ing Bear Skin Rug
Set the scene for an open fire, at a lodge in the middle of winter, after you’ve poured some wine and spent the day on the lifts. Or… just as soon as you see an actual bear skin rug, because, c’mon, why wouldn’t you?!
In Your New House Before You Move In
You met the girl, you married her, you’re finally moving into your home together. Before anything else comes into your home, carry her over the threshold and sanction every room. You both earned it… and will enjoy breaking in your new digs.
On The Deck Of A Boat
If you don’t own it, rent it. Park it in the middle of a lake (or the low tide ocean) and enjoy the sun and the rocking that’ll get things going. Or if you want to skip going out to sea, head to a local marina and sneak on board one of the docked boats.
In Your Corner Cubicle Or Office
Once the boss is out, the cleaners have made their rounds and the offices are empty, put a shirt over the office cameras and have at it — quickly. There’s nothing worse than getting caught on the job.
At A Rooftop Party
Regardless if you live in a big city or in a small town, you likely have access to some sort of roof. The next time you’re invited to a shindig 20 stories up or are visiting a friend, sneak away to a corner to quickly do the dirty. And of course, take in the view from behind — and from up top!
In Your Childhood Bedroom While Your Parents Are Home
Okay, it’s a little disrespectful, but as long as you’re quiet, they’ll never know. Want more of a challenge than when mom and pops are asleep? Try having an orgasm right before dinner — while everyone is still cooking or grilling downstairs.
At A Music Festival
You’re already wearing little clothing — or at least your girlfriend probably is — so why not take advantage of sunshine and skin? Encourage your lady to sneak away with you somewhere secluded to have some fun while your fave band is playing.
Photo courtesy of bigknob_audio
On Someone Else’s Kitchen Counter
… or really anywhere in your friend’s apartment or home. A good trick to try this? Offer to house sit any — and every — time your buddy goes on vacation or has a work trip. (But, he’ll probably only take you up on it if you make up something about needing a break from your roommate, or if he has a pet.) Major props if you get dirty while your buddies are home.
At The Stadium Of Your Favorite Team
You might be a big hockey, football, basketball or baseball fan, so you might have to do this one a few times (sorry we’re not sorry). Make it your goal to have sex at every stadium you visit — and skip the t-shirt or jersey as a souvenir. Our guess is the memory will be better than if your team wins or loses.
Photo courtesy of praylittlejay
At Your High School Or College Reunion
Who says going stag has to be boring? Your impressive resume and international travel will get everyone talking, but hooking up with your gorgeous girl (or the one you always lusted after in school) is better.
Under The Boardwalk
Sex on the beach is messy — there’s blankets involved, the opportunity for sand to get in places sand should never be, and the likelihood of getting caught is pretty high. That’s why we say you should go at night and look for a place under the boardwalk — where no one will think to look. (Unless you’re in a Freddy movie of course.)
In IKEA, Target… Or Any Big Box Store
And if you can manage to have sex on one of the beds on display without getting busted, caught or seen… wow. Just wow.
In An Airport Or In the Air
Joining the mile high club is tough — those seats are cramped enough as it is, forget the stall that passes as a bathroom — but what if you and your girl got it on in the actual airport? There are so many choices: the parking garage before you board, the unoccupied family bathroom, the first class lounge if you’re splurging and all of those random hallways where no one is. Bonus points if you manage to sneak it in at the gate.
Photo courtesy of kasiacosplay
At A Place That Scares You
Empty playground at night? Abandoned house in your hometown? Wherever it might be, challenge yourself to go and orgasm. The rush of being afraid and of coming will double the pleasure.
In A Moving Car
Trust us — it is likely as dangerous as it sounds and as difficult to pull off. But we have some faith in you — the key here is to keep the car moving slowly and opt for a place that’s pretty deserted of other vehicles. She can hop on while you’re driving and make it your fastest quickie, ever.